The Fox and the Crow
by AbsoluteCelsius
Summary: Six dangerous outcasts. One impossible heist. To steal the King of Ravka's crown. It would had gone a whole lot smoother if one of the crows didn't fall in love with the too clever fox.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Grisha series

Note: This is also completely OOC and full of crack. Enjoy!

* * *

"Natasha." Kaz Brekker strode in and dropped into his seat. Throwing one leg over the other, he leaned back and casted her a lazy grin. "You called?"

Natasha bristled, as she caught sight of Inej hovering around the door, looking uncertain.

"Close the door, girl," she snapped, and Inej hastily obeyed, quickly making her way to her friend's side. Natasha turned to Kaz and narrowed her eyes. "You are far too cocky, Brekker. Bringing along the Wraith. She's not wanted around here."

Kaz shrugged. "I can't leave her out on the streets or she'll be lurking around the market square, spending all our money on hats. That's simply unacceptable. It's not even the right season to be wearing them."

"It was on sale," Inej snapped.

"So you say for the last fifteen times. I'm on to you."

"Enough!" Natasha barked. "I have a mission for you, Brekker." She slammed a large paper on her desk and the two crowded around to look.

"'Attention citizens,'" Kaz read. "'Looking for some easy money? Look no further. The King of Ravka is welcoming all Sun Summoners to his home to either be an Oprichniki or get this—his future spouse. A grand party will be hosted in which the King will narrow down his searches. Good luck.'" He frowned. "What does this have to do with me?"

"Who is the only Sun Summoner in our group?" Inej said annoyed, making sure they had enough distance between them in case he decided to whack her with his cane. "It's obvious that the boss wants you to be a part of the King's personal guard. Do you know how rich Lantsov is? His crown is worth millions."

Natasha cleared her throat. "I was thinking more along the lines of Brekker auditioning for the King's hand in marriage. Training to be an Oprichniki will take months and joining the King's personal guard will take years. Being the King's betrothed will take a few weeks at best and you'll be able to extract information on where he keeps his treasures. I strongly recommend—"

"Absolutely not." Kaz stood up, his chair scraping across the floor. Natasha eyed his cane warily. "Give this mission to someone else. I'm not messing with the King of Scars."

"But if you have a rich husband you can leave your life of crime behind," Inej said thoughtfully.

Kaz sneered at her. "If you have a rich husband he could treat those bruises I'm about to give you."

Inej straightened up and clenched her daggers. They locked gazes, ready to commence into battle, and Natasha sighed.

"I was joking," she said tiredly. "We just need you to steal his crown. We have the Lantsov Emerald. If we combine the two and make it a complete set, the price will skyrocket. It may sound like an impossible heist, but I know you will get the job done." She rolled the paper up. "The party is tonight. I expect to see you there, Brekker."

* * *

The Grand Palace, was indeed, ugly. Nothing could change that. Stars glittered in the night sky and a stream of people filed in the large double-set doors, eager to catch the attention of the too clever fox. Their fake laughter bothered Kaz, who could find no amusement in where he was going. Jesper and Wylan had a grand time once Inej told them of the conversation they had with Natasha and how she had joked of Kaz attempting to vie for the crown by marriage. They laughed behind his back and made obnoxious comments. Kaz reacquainted the two with his old friend—the walking stick.

They didn't laugh much after that.

"If he tries anything on you, stab him," Nina whispered, giving his hair one last brush. Stepping back, she glanced at him top to bottom and nodded. "Genya will approve."

"Genya is blind in one eye," Matthias said. In a blur, Nina was on him, her blade glinting in the moonlight.

Ignoring the two, Inej turned to Kaz and squeezed his shoulder. "Remember. Don't act like yourself or nobody will like you. The king loves a spectacle."

"_I am not courting the king_," Kaz hissed, twisting out of her grasp. "First of all, he's very old."

She made a face. "And you're not? What's up with the cane, old man?"

"Enough!" Nina said exasperatedly, pulling the two apart before they launched into another battle. Matthias nodded in agreement. Scratch marks littered his arms. "I find the king to be quite handsome. He's in his early twenties. He's rich."

"Greed is your god, Kaz," Inej said, checking her boots to make sure her daggers were there.

Kaz scowled. "No, Inej. Greed bows to me. It is my servant and lever."

"There he goes again with the servants and the levers," Wylan whispered to Jesper, who laughed.

Kaz raised his cane threateningly and they instantly fell silent.

"We don't have time for this," Nina said, checking her watch. "We're running late. The king will already be selecting his bride-to-be."

Before Kaz could open his mouth, Jesper and Wylan grabbed him each by the arm and hauled him into the palace.

* * *

Couples danced in the center of the enormous room, an array of colorful dresses flashing by. Music poured in from the right where the orchestra was playing. The tables were heaped with exotic food and desserts, the smell not as powerful as the perfume hanging thick in the air.

Women wearing dresses with plummeting necklines were nestled in the corner, away from the rest. Kaz assumed that they were the Sun Summoners. Their dresses were of gold and white and they were all gorgeous.

Inej noticed as well. "Kaz can't compete with them," she said distraught. "An impossible heist, indeed."

Kaz pursed his lips, visibly offended that they didn't believe he could seduce the king. He could do many things if he put his mind to it.

"Hello, friends." The five spun around and quickly shifted into con man made. Except for Kaz, who was still sulking. The king flashed them a blinding grin. "How are you tonight?"

"Still handsome and young," Kaz said angrily.

"And charming," the King drawled. "Never forget charming."

"What do you want?" Kaz demanded, ignoring Inej rolling her eyes, Nina covering her face in shame, Matthias eying Nina, and Jesper and Wylan slowly edging towards the opposite direction. He added, "Your Highness," for good measure but his friends still did not appear pleased.

"Nikolai," the king corrected. "But I've also been known to answer to 'sweetheart' and 'handsome.'" He watched their reactions curiously. "Was I too forward?" He gave a slight bow. "My apologies. I haven't even asked for your name, Kaz Brekker, aka lieutenant of the Dregs, a gang that I have met back in my previous days." He playfully nudged an elbow in Kaz's side. "Why are you here? Don't tell me you're going to try to court me."

"Why?" Kaz said annoyed. "Am I not good enough for you? Because I am. In fact, I'm better than everybody in this room."

The king laughed, a lovely sound that caught half of the crowd's attention. Kaz felt their gazes burning into him and he refused to look their way.

"You are bold, I'll give you that," Nikolai said amused. "Here's a small question. Why do you want to marry me?"

"I want your money," Kaz said. The rest of the Dregs, nearly dying from second hand embarrassment, quickly dispersed into random directions. Kaz smiled. It was exactly what he wanted.

"An honest answer," Nikolai said slowly. He watched the Inferni toss fireballs in the air then turned his attention back on Kaz. "Want to get out of here?"

"Of course," Kaz scoffed. "This party blows."

Nikolai wrapped an arm around Kaz's waist and whispered in his boyfriend's ear, "Watch this."

The room plummeted into darkness. There was a collective gasp and before the Sun Summoners could cast light, the two were already on their way to Nikolai's bedroom.

Kaz barely stepped in before he was tackled to the bed. Threading his fingers into golden hair, he gave a soft sigh as kisses rained down his neck. The crown glittered on the stand next to them. "An impossible heist, she said."

"Improbable," Nikolai said breathlessly, a goofy grin spreading on his face. "Not impossible."

Kaz gripped the collar of his coat and pulled him down.

"Shut up and kiss me."

* * *

**Author's Note**: I was planning on making this a full fledged series where the impossible heist takes place at Os Alta and Kaz was sent in to steal Nikolai's crown but ended up falling in love with Prince Perfect. Alas, I an incredibly lazy so here is a condensed version I was going to write. I wrote this in a few hours on Valentine's Day because a certain King needs some loving in his palace. But also because of that new excerpt Leigh Bardugo revealed on Six of Crows.


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